![]() Okay, look, at this point you could wax your furniture (a must if you painted with chalk paint), or you could venture into Poly town, if you’re feeling particularly saucy. Whoa, there! What about a sealer on that paint? I used a 120 grit SandNet for this project. You just need to rough up the surface a bit, but It makes a huge difference. I just mean a light sanding – a simple scuff-job with a random orbit sander. Now, relax! I don’t mean to sand down to bare wood (for painted IKEA pieces). So just to be safe and give the primer a little something extra to grab onto, you’ll want to sand the piece of furniture first. Shellac has the ability to stick to surfaces that other paints and primers would just flake off of.īut even shellac-based primer has its limits, and it’s best not to test those limits, especially with the smoother-than-a-baby’s-butt IKEA finishes. Well, if you’ve ever worked with shellac and gotten some on your hands, you’ll know exactly why it works for painting laminate furniture or other super-smooth surfaces: it’s incredibly sticky! It probably doesn’t stand for Baby, I’m Naked! But then again, what do I know? It is therefore up to us to give it meaning, so let’s hear your suggestions in the comments. Now, you may be wondering what the BIN stands for. It must be shellac-based primer – the best primer! And the one we like (really, the only one I know), is Zinsser B-I-N. I know, I know, you feel totally let down. Though I can’t remember for sure, I think there may only have been 3 people competing in that event. When it was over, I discovered I had placed third – good enough for a bronze medal! For the next minute, my whole world was splashing water and gasping for air. The starting gun fired, and I launched myself into the cool, chlorinated water. I must have looked like a walrus mounting an iceberg. I rolled myself over to the light blue starting blocks and heaved myself up onto one of them. I just happened to be beached on the grassy slope next to the pool at Woodledge Pool Club in Glastonbury, Connecticut one day when the coach asked if I could fill in for an absent team member. I do remember winning a bronze medal at a swim meet once, though. Lucky guy! I don’t think I won a single trophy growing up. I didn’t use any sandpaper, nor did I give it a coat of primer, nor did I engage in any type of prep work at all! Instead, I just dove right in with The Sloan and assumed everything would be awesome. My first time using Annie Sloan was attempting to paint a finished IKEA chest of drawers. Her paint fails like a bumpkin at a calculus contest when it comes to IKEA. To which I reply, “Bosh and balooey, madam!” ![]() “ Oooh, oooh, but can you paint IKEA furniture with chalk paint? I use Annie Sloan! Her paint sticks to anything!” Of course you can, but if you try to paint IKEA laminate furniture or their painted furniture without knowing the secret, you’re going to be taking a little stroll down Misery Lane. I don’t know what they put over that paint, but Teflon might be a good guess! So, can you paint IKEA furniture? Okay, laminate is laminate, so really IKEA isn’t exactly reinventing smooth there. If you’ve ever tried to paint a piece of IKEA furniture – the laminate or the painted kind – then you know where I’m coming from. Part 1 – Painting IKEA & Laminate Furniture He smiles at a job well done and daydreams of Swedish meatballs. If the furniture fails the butt test, he proclaims it to be a bit av skit 1 and sends it back up the line for further refinement. If the furniture finish is as smooth (or smoother!) than the baby’s butt, he slaps on an IKEA label and orders the piece to be loaded onto the fastest boat bound for American shores. Nodding to himself, he turns to whatever unpronounceable piece of Swedish furniture sits in front of him, and he swipes the same Swedish finger along one of its finished faces. Rosy butt-cheek thus exposed, the Swedish inspector gives it a quick swipe with his Swedish finger. When one of the workers on the Quality Control Line is unsure if his coworkers on the assembly line have achieved the level of perfection required to bear the IKEA name, he reaches down below his knees, fishes up one of the wandering tots and tugs down on a corner of its powdered Pampers. My best guess is that they have a bunch of diaper-wearing babies crawling around their factory floors.
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